where troubles melt like lemon drops

:)

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:31:28 GMT

"By Here, a fair resting-place, full of summer sounds and scents. Here is this lofty and spreading plane-tree, and the agnus cast us high and clustering, in the fullest blossom and the greatest fragrance; and the stream which flows beneath the plane-tree is deliciously cold to the feet. Judging from the ornaments and images, this must be a spot sacred to Achelous and the Nymphs. How delightful is the breeze:-so very sweet; and there is a sound in the air shrill and summerlike which makes answer to the chorus of the cicadae. But the greatest charm of all is the grass, like a pillow gently sloping to the head."

-Phaedrus, by Plato

Places I've made it to over this past year, alone

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 23:28:05 GMT

Some of these were redos from traveling with my family, but still:

London (of course)- and other little places around England (namely Bath, the other Cotswolds, Salisbury, Stonehenge, Winchester, Norwich, Liverpool and Manchester)
Amsterdam
Athens
Santorini
Mykonos
Crete
Kusadasi/Ephesus, Turkey
Paris, three times
Aix-en-Provence, France
the Auvergne Region, France
Madrid
Barcelona
Edinburgh
Cairo and Luxor, Egypt
Budapest
Vienna
Prague
Berlin
Marrakech
Reykjavik
the Algarve region, Portugal (Almancil and Faro)
Lisbon, too
Florence!
Cinque Terre
and today, Venice

...and I feel so blessed. Even more blessed that I got to extend my time abroad past the April-norm and expand it to encompass both an internship and another country. Over the past ten months, I have ridden horses through piles of orange leaves in Hyde Park, gotten blackout drunk off of Sangria, worn plaid in Scotland, slept in a Genie Bottle, made real photographs using trays of chemicals, been on a date with Mr. Darcy, ridden a camel across the desert, built a snowman (midget), swam in the Mediterranean and the Blue Lagoon, been (possibly) sexually harassed by the town drunk of Vienna, spent a honeymoon-status weekend in a haunted Cheateau, gotten hostel rash, enjoyed Mapplethorpe and Michealangelo next to one another, met Margaret Thatcher, held real dinosaur bones, and made my best friends at Pepperdine. It's been a beautiful whirlwind of a year; I have zero regrets going home to Florida in a week, and onward to California in a little over a month.
And just between you and me, I'm actually beginning to look forward to it.

my wordle: Britta, this is so cute!

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:55:24 GMT

it's settled.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:46:23 GMT

after my undergrad degree is over and done with, I'm moving back here to London, and going to Le Cordon Bleu for Patisserie school.
I think that will make me happier than law school.

gypsy livin

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 02:33:52 GMT

week before last: Egypt. Beautiful, sketchy, sad... Ramses' Revenge. and trust me, you don't want to know what the last bit is all about.

last weekend: Chateau in the Auvergne region of France. Magical.

starting tomorrow: A spring break of trolloping through Eastern Europe, going from Budapest to Vienna to Prague to Berlin.

Much has changed in this last bundle of weeks. I like it; my life has been far more interesting.

forgetting

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:31:19 GMT

Noel Coward, the English playwright, and Pope Leo X (the fat guy who basically pissed off Martin Luther enough to incite the Protestant Revolution) were both Sagittariuses. Hello, finals week.

it's kind of amazing and sad what a necessity it is to forget. biologically, we're programmed to forget the pain of childbirth; if women didn't, there wouldn't be any more babies. dur. but on a much tinier level, if i remembered every good time in every place i've ever left, and with every friend i've ever let drift out of my life, i'd be a tearful disaster every day. conversely, though, it's just as necessary to purge the negative energy from our memories. to literally carry the world on our shoulders would make it impossible to walk, or even waddle.

i love London, but i'm beginning to tire of living with 40 crazy people and having to wear this many clothes (and i'm sick of wearing proper shoes!)... can't wait for Florida, my real family, painting, the Cheesecake Factory and loving on my lover. =)

I'll miss Thanksgiving with my real family, but am excited for it with my London Family...

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 02:25:39 GMT

Last night: Chicago! (spontaneous- was invited earlier that afternoon, handed over my Student ID and 25 pounds, and had sweet third row seats scored)
Today: The whale room at the Natural History Museum... for CLASS! (okay, I was the only one who was super excited about this, but even people who don't like whales as much as I do have to admit it still beats a boring lecture any day)
Tonight: Ice skating followed by wine at Hoop and Toy =)
Tomorrow: Thanksgiving with the London family, hopefully followed by debauchery if I can get a huge paper due Monday finished because...
Friday: Madrid! (completely random! I was invited to go two months ago, but I've been already so I turned it down... however, I suddenly caught the urge to travel somewhere unique and not English this weekend, and the tickets on Ryanair weren't horrendous, so here I come!)

If someone back at UCLA who I still have stars in my eyes for wasn't so stressed, I'd say my life was about perfect right now. Cheers!

someday i'm going to open a conveyor-belt sushi place where everything's vegetarian

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 22:44:56 GMT

I have the most to talk about and tell here, but this fall has been the time where I've written the least... not surprising at all actually. I actually don't feel much like writing right now but I feel as if I owe at least a little update:
-London gets dark at 4pm but it's okay because it's London, not California which is supposed to be sunshiney.
-The other day in the tube station, I got slapped by a 4ft tall 80-year-old.
-Yesterday my favorite ladiess and I here started a fabulous tradition called Wasted Women Wankerless Wednesdays. I met a really attractive half-asian soccer (football) player for Imperial College across the street (basically the MIT of the UK)
-but I did not forget the full-Asian waiting for me back at UCLA
-we got back together after three days past my last post in here. it still hasn't been easy, but we realized it's going to be worth it... why break up if you're still in love? basically homeboy had an existential crisis and came to his senses. especially since i'm not going to be gone THAT long. he'll see me in like a month, our semesters are super short.
-I didn't feel homesick or lonely at all until my mom came last week... it's not like I've been miserable, I guess I've just sort of been on a high and I'm starting to come down from it. I realize I'm the way I am (pretty independent, kind of in my own world) because I've never actually needed other people. That sounds sort of angsty, but it's really quite the opposite; I've always had such a solid family base, and now I have Jew to be my best friend forever, that I don't always get super close to people, no matter how much I like them. Oh well.
-however, back to that high: i've been on a big travel high over the past few months. Back to Greece and Turkey (including a cruise on a floating retirement home... good bonding times), Amsterdam (fun but actually kind of depressing), and the south of France to see Logan (so much fun!) I don't think I'm going anywhere outside of the UK for the rest of the semester, though, but I'm really kind of stoked because really... London's the best. It's the most beautiful, most exciting, friendliest, and easiest. Come see me!

ouch

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:12:28 GMT

one minute, we're talking about building pillow forts and table tents.
the next, it's all about how i don't want to be in this if he isn't completely.
i think it hurts like this because it was out of nowhere and because having pride makes me want anything but the hugs and support being offered to me.

this trip to Greece is coming at a really good time. forced loss of contact and a change of scenery will do my soul some good.

London is fabulous

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 01:28:58 GMT

Never leaving.

my political compass, after a year of college/having a real job

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:55:11 GMT

I remember I took this test way back in ninth grade, and I thought it would be interesting to compare the results then and now, but I can't find the old ones anywhere. Oh well.

Here's how the smatter of presidential candidates stacked up:

Why hello, Mike Gravel. Nice being the only two people in the purple quadrant?

Where are yall on the grid? www.politicalcompass.org

~~~
Life (not relating to the useless pasttime of pondering poltics- which I only deem useless because I can't vote):

I'm in Alabama right now, helping my grandparents move into their new house. It's exhausting because moving is an exhausting activity in general, and because my extended family, like those of many others, tends to make things buckets more stressful than they need to be. It really isn't that bad, actually; I'm glad to be able to help.
All of the things they yell about just seem petty, since one of my childhood friends died the other night. It's been a sad, strange few days because of it, and pretty surreal since, besides elderly relatives, she is the first person I've really known that's died. I almost feel like I don't have a full right to be upset about it since we both moved and haven't kept in very close touch the past few years... I just can't believe that the girl who I told the Easter Bunny wasn't real, whose fat black lab swam in my pool, who I had Halloween parties and sleepovers with, is gone. My family drove up to Birmingham to show their family some love, and seeing her mom- the mom who made me bring her a diet coke in the basket of my bike one night of my childhood- encompassed by that shadow that follows mothers who have had to bury their children (I've seen it a few times), was so, so surreal...

habibi means love, and that's all I need

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:18:40 GMT

These past few weeks, I've done lots of things I'd Never Done Before.

In Montana, I went kayaking. It's the ultimate Taoist experience; if you relax and let the current move you, it's fantastic. If you fight it, you fall in. I didn't actually have a choice in terms of going with the flow, though, since my upper body strength is basically zero, but it's still a cool philosophy in action. That was a fantastic little escape from my usual sweaty locales. Plus Logan is just the best.

Then, I popped up to Atlanta. Lots of firsts there, an obvious one being that it was the first time I'd ever been to Jonny's house... after two years of being together. I guess distance and strict while-in-high-school parents will do that. The house, the friends, and the family chemistry were exactly as Jew had always described them; seeing it all come to life was surreal in the best of ways.

I was also bitten by a dog for the very first time in my life. Yes, after working in an animal shelter for so long, surrounded by pit bulls and rottweilers, I'd managed to emerge unbitten and generally loved by all canines... until I met DJ. Of all the dogs in the world, it was Jonny's ancient, obese beagle-hound that charged at me at two in the morning, leaving bite marks on my stomach (he managed to fit my waist in his jaws) and gashes on my hand that haven't quite healed. I wish I could say I was a brave little toaster about it and just shook it all off but no, I bawled like a five year old and passed out once I saw the blood. Jew wanted to take me to the hospital, but if the law is the same as it is in Florida, his family would have been required to put DJ down... and I couldn't do that to Jonny. DJ and I did manage to make up over the next few days since I sucked up to him by feeding him dog biscuits and cheese every other second... no, I'm not usually a suck-up but luckily I have more sense than Captain Ahab; though I do believe animals are intelligent in ways that humans are incapable of understanding, I really don't think they have any concept of revenge or grudge-holding. Which is probably a good thing, for them)

On happier notes though, I also went to a kangaroo farm for the very first time.... probably the funniest date I'd ever been on. Basically, this place (the biggest outside of Australia, mind you) is nestled in the absolute middle of Nowhere, Georgia. Literally, we'd been driving for an hour down windy country roads that look as if the rainforest paths of St. Croix and the rural emptiness of Alabama had crossbred, and then a "Kangaroo Farm, this way" sign sprouted out of the ground. Despite how heat-bloated and thus disinterested the kangaroos and wallabies were, it was still a pretty amusing experience.

I saw my first whale sharks.
That was with Jonny too.
(the Atlanta Aquarium is the best birth control)

I'm back in Winter Park for a little while. Things with London are up in the air now, since I'm having issues getting my visa, but I'm trying to look at it as a win-win situation. If I can't obtain one, I go back to California... and I wouldn't be totally unhappy. I went through a huge "LA Is An Intellectual Wasteland With Too Much Pollution and Boring People, I Want To Transfer" phase earlier this summer, but weeks of meditation and reflection have helped me realize just how good I have things over there. It's not an Ivy League school or anything near it, and maybe that just isn't the kind of place I should be in. Really, I don't think I can handle the intensity of the Northeast; I'm too laid back and softhearted. Likewise, the humid, drunken ennui of the South brings about a state of numbness in which I do not wish to live these next few years.
Yes, it sounds like I'm giving every region of the United States a bum rap, but what I'm really trying to say is that every area has positive and negative attributes. What I've realized is that I can handle the negatives in Malibu far better than those of say, Boston. It's a matter of figuring out what suits my life best.

I really still hope I get to go to London though.
Positive thinking brings positivity.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:54:33 GMT

I've got the mean reds today. I don't like Orlando much right now.
It's probably just because I'm lonely and unproductive here.

Lately, my mom and I have been going into pet stores. Not a good idea, I know, but we do it anyway. Yesterday we were perusing the lizards and snakes in PetCo, when we spotted some plastic bags full of live crickets, clearly intended to be food for other animals. We bought two bags and set them free under a tree in a certain development's park. I felt just like I did when I was nine, stealing my great-uncle's bait crickets by the handful and releasing them into the Georgia woods. I got in trouble for that back then, and I guess it could make trouble now if those crickets turn out to be an invasive species or something... not that there's much natural to be destroyed in Baldwin Park.
Sure, they still might get eaten by something, but at least they'll get to hop and chirp freely for a while.

I just can't stand the thought of something, even something small, living just to die.

i like comics. can you tell?

Thu, 29 May 2008 16:58:14 GMT

I like to think I'm better now, but this totally throws me back to life in 9th/10th grade. Yikes.

konikonecho.

Wed, 07 May 2008 04:59:36 GMT

This made me laugh out loud, literally. Am I nuts?

Yesterday, Pepperdine called. Apparently a spot opened up in the Uganda program (I was waitlisted originally and it just sort of slid off my radar). It was hard saying no; I've been craving a real adventure and a shake-up from my cushy existence, but dipping out on an internship and making them pay 10k for me to spend a month in a country that hasn't technically declared peace felt like a lot to ask. I was actually pretty conflicted about it last night, fully convinced that I'd spend the rest of my life wondering "what if I'd just dropped everything and gone to Africa" but actually, I'm fine (especially since I'm convinced that a lot of Pepp's "service" is more show than substance). I have this theory that, in the middle of the night, things seem more important than they actually are. Case in point.

I've mostly been in Florida lately; I was back on the island for about 10 seconds and managed to squeeze in Jump Up, Kurt Schindler, tequila, amends-making, bonding with Little Bro over hours and hours of gaming, tanning and the birth of a painting. I go back to stay for a while tomorrow night, thank goodness, not that I necessarily dislike it here. Actually, it's been very relaxing- wonderful food that would make my facialist and raw foodist friends bludgeon me over the head as well as a slew of good books and good movies.
Highlights: "Iron Man" (surprisingly, movies like that usually bore me) and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Go read that today. Actually, now. Serious.

second semester

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:33:52 GMT

 COSC-105.-01 INTRODUCTION TO PROGRAMMING  	B+   3.00   
 CRWR-203.-02 INTRODUCTION TO CREATIVE WRITING	A    4.00  
 ENG -380.-03 LOS ANGELES LIT. & FILM      	A    4.00  
 PSYC-200.-01 INTRODUCTION TO PSYCHOLOGY   	A    3.00  
 SPE -180.-13 PUBLIC SPKNG/RHET ANALYS     	B+   4.00  
 SVR -200.-01 CONVOCATION SERIES           	A   (0.50)  


I know I was miss "I want a 4.0" a few short months ago, but considering that Speech was a 
terrible horrible no good very bad class (whose final I'm fairly certain I failed) and that 
I'm truly terrible at Programming, I'm satisfied.

I'm with Pig on that one.

distracted.

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:46:49 GMT

i love wasting time on CraigsList, especially in the London personals:

http://london.craigslist.co.uk/mis/639847732.html
http://london.craigslist.co.uk/m4w/652230824.html
http://london.craigslist.co.uk/m4w/651858012.html
http://london.craigslist.co.uk/m4w/651673973.html (this might be a joke)
http://london.craigslist.co.uk/m4w/650570454.html (this one has to be)

"freshman psych rears its ugly head"

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:48:46 GMT

According to the Friedman and Rosenman study, in which 3000 people were interviewed about work and eating behaviors, it was found that they exhibited either:

Type A behavior (uptight, aggressive, competitive, more stressed)
or
Type B behavior (laid-back, easygoing, not as hung up on achievement)

When interviewed a second time, 9 years later, it was found that 257 developed heart attacks, and 69% were Type A.

so BASICALLY...

We slackers live longer. Sweet.
High five, guys.

i didn't have time for yoga today, and that's probably why i'm in a funk. that, and this term paper.

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:55:58 GMT

Two evenings ago, I finally wandered into that beautiful Hindu temple in the canyon. I'd always driven by it and wanted to go inside, but never could find a person interested enough to risk the potential awkwardness or willing to make time. And, it was a little awkward, though I'm sure being in California, they're used to having curious white people blunder in confusedly.
The late dusk air made the marble floor chilly on my naked toes. I love the no-shoes thing; quite frankly, I can think of many Alabama Methodist services that would have been a good degree more pleasant had my feet not been constricted by the cutting confines of "church shoes." Marina, my friend brave enough to go with me, and I plodded inside of a building along side a few late-temple stragglers, and took part in what seemed to be a mini-ritual. A shirtless man hummed and said some things we couldn't understand, put a carved silver bucket-looking thing on our heads briefly, and spooned into our hands what tasted like strong green tea with something mixed in. It was bizarre, but made me so, so curious. The lavish carvings and idols were so exquisite, even scattered with coconut shells and browned bananas. Seeing a woman go to the ground and bow, over and over, with such glowing sincerity made me really wonder- are there as many raised-Hindu agnostics and dissenters as there Christians?

(Aditi, what's your take on all of this?)

Flipping a page, I'm considering dropping programming. Actually, scratch "considering," it's probably going to happen. The truth is, the art form doesn't come naturally to me. I'm terrible with math, abstract concepts especially, though I wish I wasn't. It's a hard thing to admit, wanting to be like my dad (wanting to BE my dad, careerwise), but a thing it's time I admit, nonetheless. Better now than years from now, I suppose. I wrote him a long email about it; I hope he isn't too disappointed it me. He probably will be, and it makes me sad since we've bonded over it so much. I hope we stay as close as we have been lately, even if I embrace my right-brained tendencies and hope I can find career success and fulfillment despite that I don't see myself traveling down the path of software developer.

Happy stuff though: I'm finding I actually have friends here, more than a few of them, and it feels fantastic.

Ridiculous List

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:22:15 GMT

First, the last few items on my bank statement, all from the past couple of days:

*JACK IN THE BOX 160 ($20.79) - Coming back from the only ridiculously fun Pepperdine party that I've ever been to (and oh man, was it ridiculous. and fun) i pulled a slurry blurry "heyyy guys just put it all on my card because i love you." but then, one of the guys in the car paid me back with a $20, so i ended up spending only .79 on my own breakfast biscuit. sweet!
*COOGIE'S BEACH CAFE ($15.48) - Amazingly good, if overpriced, chocolate chip pancakes and... tomatoes? for breakfast. (i have this sweet-salty thing)
*COSENTINO'S MALIBU FLORIST ($5.41) - I thought about getting a guinea pig or a goldfish, but instead had my heart stolen by a baby cactus. His name is Ralph, and he's very low maintenance.
*VITAMIN BARN ($7.57) - I'm a wheatgrass/herbal tonic/smoothie addict. This is definitely not the only Vbarn charge on my card.
*MIAMI TAN ($29.00) - Another "never" in my life come true. Here's my reasoning, though: Formal is on Friday and I was/kind of still am that weird yellowy color that I turn when I have an almost-faded shred of color left. The sun up here feels good, but does absolutely nothing to me. Plus, about the skin cancer thing, I'm pretty much already done for after a Floridian childhood followed by an adolescence on St.Croix's beaches. So there. I have the month pass, too, so I'll be able to come home looking like I never left! (but I'm not making it a habit)
*PEPPERDINE UNIVERSITY ($1.00) - My old job came back to haunt me, but weirdly enough, it was Brooke who ended up calling me! I gave a dollar so she could get the pledge credit, though deep down I know that if there is one institution that definitely does not need that dollar, it's Pepperdine.

Hm yeah. I'm usually not that bad about spending money, but clearly I need to not eat for the rest of the week.

here comes the sun

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:00:19 GMT

You can usually tell how stressed out I am by how messy my room is. When it's a wreck, like it has been, it's usually so because I have too much on my mind and not enough time to neaten it. But now, after two (three, counting the one before spring break) weeks of solid stressed-out madness, it's looking somewhat organized again. Songfest ended Saturday, and honestly I'm just so glad to have my life back, though I adore the new friends I made in the process. Yesterday was rough with a big presentation, a speech, and a programming test. It's over, I can breathe now! (well for the next few days at least)

Last week, I decided to go to the career center to try and figure out what I actually want to do with my life. (Or at least narrow it down between environmental lawyer, second grade teacher, video game designer, travel writer and ...opera singer? haha oh ganja.) My counselor, who went to Teacher's College at Columbia (just like Connie!) gave me a bunch of personality tests to take, and today I go back to look at the results. Ever since 8th grade when one of those said that I should be a dental hygienist, I've been a little apprehensive. Maybe these will help. Actually, Britta, how about you just tell me what to do as a career since you seem to get me.

So now, I'm going to go sit in a puddle of sunlight and write. Or maybe I'll read a book that's not for school since I have a couple of days of cushion.... mmm.

bad timing, cold

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:30:32 GMT

ughhh this is so not a good time for me to be sick. really, i think it's just allergies that escalated into something nastier... stupid L.A. with its bajillion cars and pollution and hundreds of bizarre flowers. having to get up 8 times through the night so i won't wake my poor roomie with my hacking and nose-blowing, even after taking NyQuil, is not my favorite.

songfest is looking good though, nonetheless =)

eloquence just isn't happening tonight...

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 05:14:28 GMT

break is good. i don't do well with routines, and my life at school was beginning to look too much like one.
i'm happy, so happy to be home on this little island. the landscape, the pace of life, my family.... it's really all good except for one friend who has me disappointed beyond belief.
i don't want to hear a word from him unless it's an apology. at the dinner table tonight, i joked about sending a condolence card that says "You're dead to me." that's a little harsh, but seriously. i'm not just going to be discarded because i won't suck up or allow myself to be tossed and reclaimed.
but you know what? even though he's the person who's pulled me through some major bullshit, the person who has always been awesome to me, and he's acting like a shithead... my spring break isn't anything close to ruined. i'm eating wonderful food, enjoying some nice green stuff, soaking up sun, making love to the ocean, bubbling over with flashes of ideas for art and poetry, and spending quality time with Alex, some of the island kids, and the family. it's all so good.

i've already been up too long- i'll probably be a little sleepy for yoga tomorrow morning (on Hibiscus Beach, like i did at the birth of my obsession, all last year). it's going to be so worth it, though.

once this semester of living with seven girls is over...

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 05:52:15 GMT

i'll be really happy if i never have to listen to another hairdryer for the rest of my life.

this could possibly be my most stressful week of college so far, but on friday night i'll be flying home to those turquoise-water beaches... just gotta stay focused, and get my shit done. it's going to be so much harder, but i want to at least pull the GPA i did last semester.

i locked my DS in my safe, just for good measure.

love this.

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 06:11:32 GMT

" If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room."
-Anita Koddick